Okay - I screwed up. While prepping for this ESXi transition, I forgot to take note of my Windows license keys. As a result, I managed to lose 2 licenses - Windows Server 2016 Datacenter and Standard. Which sucks, because I kinda need (at least one of them) to install that OS first, to get vCenter Server working. That manages ESXi, which would (in turn) complete the ESXi setup. I managed to save the Windows 10 Enterprise license, the Microsoft Office 2016 Professional Plus license - but not the ones I was using for Windows Server 2016. Derp. That's gonna set me back a week, since I have to wait until my next paycheck to replace it/them (and will add unexpected cost to this entire project). 
ESXi status - delayed indefinitely...
ESXi status - delayed indefinitely...
Excuse me while I go cry in a corner until I recoup my losses
